~ from the angry red planet outbox:

To: “kron” < xxxxx@xxxxxx.xxxx >
Subject: Re: wtf!!!

At 11:24 AM 12/4/2001, you wrote:
> ‘Lindh said would like to hug his son and kick his butt
> for not getting permission to go to Afghanistan.’
>
> are we supposed to feel touched that this family has
> found their lost bastard son? sure he turned out to have

> been hanging out with obladen, but at least he is ok,
> now lets just let the [family] reunite and be cool.

i’m pretty sure that there are a lot of
 yemeni and arab kids in afghanistan who’d
  like to just get off with just a
 ‘kick in the butt’ right now

but i wager the u.s. special forces
 don’t take it so easily on them…

-saucemaster

* may have been edited in retransmission

~ well, since some shoppers were killed, the israelis have blown up a couple of yasser arafat’s helicopters and shot some missles into the barracks of his guards. what an inspirational solution. we bet there won’t be any more suicide attacks now!

~ by the way, ‘ginger’, or ‘it’, is a huge disappointment, as is any invention short of a personal teleportation device.

~ at the westside supermarket on broadway, the radio is playing over the loudspeaker for the sake of the customers’ entertainment. between commercials. the ‘dj’ – are they still called ‘dj’? – announces the news. “twelve people have been killed in an explosion in a mall” – the entire store stops what they are doing and looks up at the ceiling, from which the message is emanating – “in Jerusalem.” at the naming of the city, one far from westside manhattan or los angeles, the customers quickly drop their heads in indifference and refocus on the more crucial task of grabbing ‘portuguese’ rolls and hummus and tofutti.

~ didn’t the media just discover that it’s ramadan and tell us that it is suddenly the most important time of the year for muslims? apparently, it was so important – for a few days – that if the u.s. attacked this month, all the ‘support’ from muslim nations would erode. the bombers must have been some of those christian palestinians about whom we see some folks reminding israel, as though the zionists would actually have any more sympathy or humanity for them.