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“Our prayers have been answered on this Easter Sunday,” [some guy regarding the rescue of that captain kidnapped by pirates]

it would have ruined the element of surprise, but the navy should have flipped on their loudspeaker and told the pirates, ‘hey, easter is coming up in a couple of days, and americans fucking love feel good stories on religious and commercial holidays. they eat that shit up. it shores their beliefs that there is an order the universe follows. so unless you want to give up now, we are going to snipe you on easter sunday, for america.’

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