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roadside i-75. Atlanta, GA

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~ admittedly, we haven’t read any x-books for fun since grant morrison’s exceptional run on ‘new x-men’; we only read them occasionally to keep up w/ who is on what team and or in which future/past they are or who is dead/returned from the dead. it is a chore, but we try to keep up so we aren’t totally lost for the inevitable crossover events:

colossus about to get ruined

the pseudo-military jargon that he has been barking since replacing xavier as ‘leader of all mutants’ was annoying enough, but when did cyclops start talking like a religious lunatic: messiah, extinction? captain america’s oldest friends are androids, an atlantean, an alien/god; he even gave the red hulk a job! we are sure he isn’t trying to kill every mutant on earth. magneto looks like less of a psycho than cyclops now.

speaking of religious nuts, since when does storm believe on god? shouldn’t it be ‘goddess help us’?

anyway, do they not have a continuity style sheet for marvel writers/artists? we understand it when they do things like draw brownstones or a river in downtown atlanta, but why are the avengers calmly jumping out of the intact helicarrier in ‘new avengers’ 24, but at the beginning of ‘avx’ issue two they are thrown out as it is being destroyed? why does the helicarrier look different in every marvel comic? is s.h.i.e.l.d. building a new one every week? jrjr’s looks ridiculously incorrect; the jets are flying out of the sides as if it is the battlestar galactica!

also, in real life the avengers would totally pwnt the x-men.

grade: B-, for laughs

Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, …. said she raised the following questions at the briefing:

” 1. Who were these women? Could they have been members of groups hostile to the United States? Could they have planted bugs, disabled weapons, or in any others jeopardized security of the president or our country?

news.yahoo.com

That’s the first question — who the women are? We may not buy into that every Jezebel that we don’t click, but the angry red planet recognizes slut shaming when we read it. We don’t really care if people, even Secret Service agents, hire prostitutes, legally or otherwise, but if it is so important to you or your ‘country’s image’, the first question would be ‘do these guys have nothing better to do this week?’ or ‘can they have their orgies after the president’s visit is over?’

“…the U.S. military had investigators in Colombia interviewing the women who were brought to the hotel by the Americans.

U.S. Representative Peter King said on Tuesday the investigators had not found that the women were involved in the drug trade or organized crime.”

Yes, because women involved can’t just be regular working girls, they have to be part of some evil conspiracy. If anyone is an asshole here, it is the agent(s) who refused to pay after being ‘serviced’. Douchebags. By the end of this, we imagine the Secret Service agents will be portrayed as the real victims, seduced and trapped against their wills by wily Cartagenera vixens.

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~ after 50 years of being in fist fights for a living, spider-man discovers than he could wear a helmet instead of a cloth mask, then parade around like he just discovered plutonium (by accident!). if you could use all that tech and shit in one day, why wouldn’t you just use it all the time?

anyway, the point is, the hideous design of the costume notwithstanding (the eyes are wrong!!), how could you show off that weak thing in front of iron man and not feel like a tool? “oh look you have shoulder pads and a turtleneck now; meanwhile, my armor costs more than the space shuttle,” says tony stark. maybe next issue captain america, the guy who runs fucking s.h.i.e.l.d., will be asking you for tactical advice on a brawl w/ doctor octopus, and you can respond ‘we beat them up quickly.’ innovative! when did comics start being written for kids?

also, it looks like spider-woman will still be walking/flying into the next fight in just a spandex bodysuit.

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After more than a mile of zigzagging through Frankford, Alexander’s ride ended on Frankford Avenue at Butler Street, when he collided with a car that turned in front of his speeding bike.

The bike shattered.

The boy died.

–Dirt-bike tragedy an example of bigger problem

good.

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~ We were reviewing ‘Aliens’ in preparation for ‘Prometheus’ and we made a ‘discovery’: When Ripley goes down to the reactor to search for Newt, what is the point of Ripley burning the eggs and wasting all of her pulse rifle ammunition and grenades on the Queen?

Ripley and the Queen have reached an agreement; Ripley won’t torch the eggs, and the Queen will hiss to the other xenomorphs not to attack. The whole settlement is about to be destroyed in a nuclear explosion anyway, which we all know because of the constant reminder on the loud speakers, so Ripley could just calmly take the elevator to the landing platform and escape, letting the processor explosion take care of the nest. Instead she empties her guns and has to run from the queen, gets Bishop chopped in half, and loses a cargo-loader.

The answer is probably just ‘Because that’s what happens in the story’, since they needed an explanation for an egg being on the Sulaco at the beginning of the third movie.