Could you pass the latest citizenship test?
You answered 100% of questions correctly. Here’s your rating:
85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)
~ satellite quote:
‘she’s an o.l.b.’
‘a what?’
‘official long-haired bitch’
~ in a phenomenon reminiscent of the king arthur cake fiasco of 2005 [+], our last three (3) cornbreads have been utter failures. despite using our respectably time-worn and taste-tested recipe, the breads have come out dense enough to build a wall around gaza. it makes no sense that this would happen. is this happening across the nation? is it global warming? are they grinding meal too finely this year? does baking powder wear out after a certain date? is there too much lead in the water? is the gov’t chemically seeding the atmosphere? is it something to do with king corn being raised for biofuel? disgusting – we go back to the mixer.
the style of our page is missing today in honour of ‘css naked day’ [w], which is a corny name for a fun idea: the promotion of web standards. there are multiple atrophied areas of this site that will keep their css for the day, but no one ever looks at them anyway.
~ warehouse quote:
“excuse me sir, are you a vendor?”
“no, i just like to take pictures of food that is bizarre and disgusting”
“i’m going to have to ask you not to take pictures.”
~ from “Archaeologists start Stonehenge dig”
“Even the Druids are happy with this project, we’ve spoken to them and they don’t object.”
druids? should not those druids inform the ‘archaeologists’ that the stones were set up in the 1920’s? did they even have druids back then?
~ oliver stone apparently desires that his film on george w bush is taken seriously:
Expected to portray First Lady Laura Bush is Elizabeth Banks, whose credits include “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” and the upcoming “Zach and Miri Make a Porno.”
BREAKING NEWS: Mississippi Democratic primary too early to call, NBC projects
BREAKING NEWS: Some Things Have Not Happened Yet, ABC News reports
BREAKING NEWS: There Is Some Shit That We Don’t Know, CNN believes
BREAKING NEWS: We Do Not Have Anything to Report — CBS News