~ does anyone else find that it is curious to hear laughing whilst listening to the “9/11 Commission Hearings”?

proposal for an overweight america #1:

car manufacturers, stop including console cupholders that are able to be configured for 48oz drinks.

~ the flag for the state of georgia, as chosen by a non-binding referendum, is lackluster, unimaginative, and otherwise quite lame. it is about as clever as the flag of malaysia, liberia, or texas. we continue to await a public design competition, juried by the populace, rather than a default logo coughed up by the fossils behind the closed doors of the state house.

~ in random order, here are some of the dumbest things we have heard today:

1) senator zell miller continuing his toadyism by introducing george w bush at a $2000/plate fund raiser and endorsing him as a presidential candidate

2) israel hiring palestinian laborers to build israel’s ‘security wall’

3) george w. bush declaring that he needed faith in his god to help him stop his (gwb’s) alcohol abuse

4) the cattle industry feeds blood, instead of cow’s milk, to calves
4b) instead, humans are drinking cow’s milk(?)

5) coretta scott king holding hands with george w. bush

~ there have been some updates to the u.s.a. scene report, namely to the states in dixie.

if you take a dog to the park, consider your behavior when you arrive; you should find that there is a good chance that you are being a complete asshole. if you have not noticed this to be the case, it is because you are ignorant, as well.

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~ “I think the budget of Saddam Hussein’s government for health was like $16 million; less than a dollar per person. And, of course, we’re spending a lot more than that now on health care in Iraq.” -g.w.bush

i think the budget of the u.s. government for health is ‘like’ zero dollars for me. and, of course, the u.s. is spending a lot more than that now on health care in iraq.

~ eric alterman’s latest corporate blog [w] makes it clearer than ever to us why we hate the democrats. although we don’t know if he considers himself a democrat, alterman’s love note to john kerry is evidence enough that he is at least partial to them. in atlerman’s entry, there are two (2) allusions to the notion that ralph nader cost al gore the 2000 election, proving that democrats still can not face up to the ineptitude of their own candidates, despite being outfoxed by the handlers of imbeciles like g.w.bush in florida and a.schwarzenegger in california (and possibly the killers of p.wellstone in minnesota).

even when one of their own, dean, of course, is trouncing them in the primary related polls, because he was calling out george w bush two years ago, while they were shaking bush’s hand and smiling for pictures with him in the rose garden, their argument is that dean is somehow too ‘angry’ at bush to run against him successfully. rather than be ready to support the one from their team that ends up coming out on top, the democratic candidates make excuses for themselves instead of addressing the fact that they are not desirable. these guys and this lady seem to want to achieve nothing by their own merit; they seem to think that they somehow deserve to be picked and that we should overlook their shortcomings out of our own kindness. if coy howard were alive today, he would call them all ‘whiiiiners’. it is clear that the republicans are craftier, bolder, and smarter than the democrats. Instead of finding the determination to fight back against the republican advances, the democrats cry foul and ask for some non-existent referee to step in and give them a free pass. who respects that?

notes:
1) this was intended to be posted before al gore gave his endorsement to howard dean; however that does not make the democrats any less sniveling, so perhaps this post is best noted in light of this latest development.

2) our readers should not construe that the angry red planet is, yet, supporting h.dean. he is not even a vegan! besides, we are still awaiting word from r.nader [w].

~ we approve of colin powell’s visit to the ‘unofficial’ peace accord festival in switzerland, despite the bellyaching and fuming of the button down types in israel/palestine. sharon and arafat and their respective administrations have demonstrated to history that they are prepared to do jack shit to reach an agreement between israel/palestine; if those codgers are not going to step aside, then it is only right that the people do the job themselves.

~ if you are in the position to spend $250 on a new mattress, you sound like a fool when you talk about what a great deal it is, because when you have that kind of money to spend on such a luxury, you are not one who is interested in deals. the only deal you can get on a mattress is spending $10 on a twin and discovering afterwards that it is not used, after all.

~ while describing one of our most furious episodes to an acquaintance, we misspoke in our rage. indulge us these clarifications:

1) it was stanley kurtz of the national review, not ‘the asshole governor of massachusetts’

2) it was not that he said ‘gay marriage corrupts children’ or some shit, but rather, ‘i think gay marriage is a bad idea…’ because of his concern for the ‘welfare of children who need and deserve stable families.’
we have no quarrel with his professed concern for kids, but our anger over the implication that gay folks’ desire to marry is not the actual opposite of stability, and, therefore, anything but damaging to kids, led us to our third mistake.

3) it was a ‘cinder block’, not ‘bead board’, wall, through which we would like to see placed ‘his face’, instead of ‘my fist’.

~ the governor of massachusetts, calling for a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage, actually is an asshole.

~ open letter to george w bush:

while you were hanging out at camp david this weekend, at least – and at only the latest count – sixteen (16) of our marines and soldiers were killed and five (5) more captured. we are really sure that the parents and loved ones of these men and women are quite touched to hear a man in a suit and tie who sent those young folks to meet their doom
had time to stop in his walk from his helicopter to his mansion to promise that he and his wife prayed for the marines’ lives just earlier that morning. if praying is somehow going to keep these people safe, we recommend that, next time, you do the praying before they are shot or maimed.

regardless of whether there is any sincerity at all behind your crocodile tears, though we can not recall you having even shed those, don’t you have anyone at all at your office who can tell you that at least you can give the impression of being concerned about the situation? assuredly, neither you nor your cronies give a tinker’s cuss for the lives of anyone, american, iraqi, or otherwise, but for the sake of business – ie, keeping the public interested in the war until it turns a profit – could you not imagine that it would be necessary to go through the motions by at least sitting at your desk for a few hours?

we are sure that other, greater presidents, have left the office for the weekend; for example franklin d roosevelt, headed to warm springs, georgia, or to the hudson valley more than once during the years that the united states was embroiled in warfare with the first, true axis. however, fdr seemed to have the decency to at least postpone his trips until after the first weekend of the war that he declared (actually, congress declared that war, but that is another constitutional matter that you would find confusing). we are pretty sure that you had your handlers – advisors? – with you the entire time, and we have seen pictures that verify – to the extent that a photograph can verify – that there is a phone at camp david, so we know that it is a possible for one to have a working weekend while there.

nevertheless, do you think that there is anything more that you could have done to demonstrate that you do not take this shit seriously at all? we rednecks at the angry red planet are unwavering in our opposition to this unjust war, and we seem to be more worried about the safety of the american men and women than does your administration. the angry red planet does not give a damn who supports the war, but to stand in front of the nation after a weekend of cocaine and blow jobs at camp david and expect us to swallow the shit that you drop concerning your sympathy for the troops and their families is more than we can stomach, you smug, disrespectful simpleton. you have no more idea about the meaning of ‘pro patria’ than did young hoheimer; we all anxiously await the day that you cross your own, personal missionary ridge.

sincerely,

the angry red planet

ps. to all the hollywood folks who are not walking on your usual red carpet tonight: that’s very touching.

~ “Nigerian leader blames media for Miss World riots” (CNN)

the angry red planet blames the people who, with the complete mental faculties of adult humans, made the individual decisions to walk out of their homes and bludgeon people to death for the miss world riots.