~ your xmas gift from your friends at the angry red planet this year is a trimmed menu on the side of this window. gone are the dead end links to the ‘folio’ that was never maintained, and, considering that we haven’t been to atlanta in 4 years, we took away the ‘atlanta scene report’, which was just a glorified photo gallery, and put the images in a banal photo gallery. without the tedium of entering every ‘report’ into its own custom page, we might be able to add some interesting scenes into said banal gallery more often in the future. consider this a stocking stuffer; check back under the tree tonight!
~ anatomy of a holiday:
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Could you pass the latest citizenship test?
You answered 100% of questions correctly. Here’s your rating:
85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)
~ in a phenomenon reminiscent of the king arthur cake fiasco of 2005 [+], our last three (3) cornbreads have been utter failures. despite using our respectably time-worn and taste-tested recipe, the breads have come out dense enough to build a wall around gaza. it makes no sense that this would happen. is this happening across the nation? is it global warming? are they grinding meal too finely this year? does baking powder wear out after a certain date? is there too much lead in the water? is the gov’t chemically seeding the atmosphere? is it something to do with king corn being raised for biofuel? disgusting – we go back to the mixer.
~ warehouse quote:
“excuse me sir, are you a vendor?”
“no, i just like to take pictures of food that is bizarre and disgusting”
“i’m going to have to ask you not to take pictures.”
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~ whilst laying on the roof this weekend, we could hear dipshits screaming and hollering every time a football or baseball team whose game was being televised scored a point. we have always had a knee jerk aversion to anything related to organized sports: sports team jerseys, sports television networks, sports bars, sports fans, and pretty much surrounding sports, exlcuding the sport itself. we always presumed this stemmed from growing up too fat and slow to play sports, being too unpopular to be picked for a team, and adherence to the typical jock vs nerd/punk schema.
however, finding ourselves seated to a middle-aged man and his 6-year-old son at a cafe this morning, a one-sided conversation clarified for us the source of the mindless nature of sports fans. this child was not even old enough to play football, baseball, and certainly not hockey, yet his father was asking him which sports team was his favorite and to explain his choide; the kid doesn’t even understand what the sports are about, yet he is already being taught to take sides over something ridiculous. this sort of indoctrination is as offensive to us as the act of sending children to sunday school or forcing a carnivourous diets upon them. imagine if our fathers had forced us to listen to deep purple or the eagles – or to shout with glee every time brad pitt signed a new contract; that is how absurd it is cheer when someone who isn’t you makes a touchdown.
~ after two (2) visits to the vet(s) phobos was diagnosed with conjunctivitis; after a week of ophthalmic drops, his eyes have cleared, and we recommend cat vet of south street whilst unrecommending girard veterinary clinic.
~ we do not know if anyone still uses lipstick or soap and shops in the mall, but we wonder if groups like peta [w] will still recommend body shop, now that it has been purchased by l’oreal, a notorious abuser of animals, according to bbc [w].
~
‘r.i.p. huntsman: 1997 – 2005’
‘enter fieldmaster: 2005’
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: everything i find remarks on how king arthur’s is higher protein
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: than other all-p
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: it made your cake more dense/firm
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: rather than fluffy
2:08 PM terracimmeria: maybe you should send that info to metropolitan
2:08 PM terracimmeria: so they can make proper bagels
2:08 PM terracimmeria: shit
2:08 PM terracimmeria: king arthur is responsible for that cake status
2:09 PM terracimmeria: i should start a new website
2:09 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: i mean, the flavor is fine, the texture is off, though, because of that
2:09 PM terracimmeria: ‘king arthur’s protein content caused my cake to be too fucking dense!’
2:09 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: .com
2:09 PM terracimmeria: fuckarthur.com
2:09 PM terracimmeria: shit
2:10 PM terracimmeria: i can’t believe we returned to fucking mugs
2:10 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: calm down
2:11 PM terracimmeria: and why isn’t eric rudolph referred to as a ‘christian terrorist’ like the islamic bombers?
