~ why the angry red planet loathes cars, lesson 10: while phobos looked on, i spent an hour installing a new $129 alternator into the mazda 323. once i believed the job was complete, i attempt to start the engine, to no avail. i have the theory that the battery is discharged due to the abuse it suffered while the previous alternator is dead…

~ the angry red planet has been removed from service for the past week due to another two-pronged assault on its operations. last thursday, while the angry red machine rested alone, somehow havoc was wrought against its ‘tcp’ installations, causing internet connectivity to come to a halt and inspiring a half-dozen hikes to the local library to visit micr*s*ft’s support and downloads pages. a day after this ‘crash’, while driving through ‘mossland’, the mazda 323 suffered a fatal electrical problem which has rendered it useless to this day. it’s carcass sits in the road outside the angry red office, with its tags still fresh from the previous week’s $400 emission repairs.

~ the very first information that the restored internet connection was that lars ulrich had testified before the senate over napster [w].

~ after viewing a rock-and-roll show in santa ana on saturday, i explained to my companion the good-natured contempt i have often seen expressed towards drummers: ‘who’s that guy hanging out with the musicians?…the drummer.’ we challenged ourselves to name by name a ‘famous’ drummer, and the best only names we came up with were neal pert and the drummer for van halen, whose name i have subsequently forgotten in the past two days. i wonder how someone as prolific and clearly as renaissance as lars ulrich escaped our attention; after all, you may remember, he is testifying to the u.s.senate about napster [w].

~ yes. the angry red mazda made it through the second smog check. last month’s ‘nox’ emission was 1873; today’s was only 5. the bastard at ‘rocket smog’ tried to charge me for another test, though i was entitled to a ‘free’ one, since the last one was a failure. in the end, i had to pay $8.25 for something about which i am not sure; i didn’t get anything in return. damn this arcane system. despite my daily use of one of them, cars are still abominable.

~ today’s mail also brought issue number 12 from ‘the assassin and the whiner’. i suggest that you immediately send $1 to carrie for your copy; find carrie’s address in the ‘zine contacts’ page of the angry red planet.

~ after $400 worth of ‘repairs’, the angry red mazda is minutes away from being taken in for its second smog check.

~ the angry red log has not been kept up to date, due to a week of ‘work’ for the man. ‘free time’ was wasted on the latest scene report, which is an ongoing look at the los angeles dingbat and needs to be reformatted immediately, if not sooner.

~ after more than a week, the angry red planet is happy report that its new television has not been activated once since its discovery on the sidewalk. plans for its sale are beginning to be laid.

~ laugna beach. sunburn. coffee. ‘east is east.’ parking ticket. broken cd drive. coffee.

~ while engaging in a derive through chevoit hills last night, members of the angry red planet came upon a heap of garbage which included a rather large television set. although all associates of the angry red planet have been weened from this glass teat, the thrill of the hunt inspired them to carry the set back to the office, where it was discovered to be in perfect working order. so, for the first time in 3 years, there is a television in the offices of the angry red planet. i will still spend the mornings reading proust, of course, but there has been some talk around the break room of searching through the neighborhood’s garbage for a vcr. the one-eyed monster rears its head…

~ when i was in kindergarten, 20 years ago, it was always a big deal when someone didn’t show up for class. since we would do anything we could to convince our parents and teachers that we should be excused from school that day. so, one morning in kindergarten, we all noticed that a particular classmate did not show up; we spent the morning gossiping about what she could be doing, but by the time the afternoon buses came to take us home, we forgot all about her. when she didn’t show the next morning, though, we all knew that something was up. seeing this, both of our classes were called together by the teachers and told what had befallen her to cause her absences.
   she had been late for the school bus one morning, and was running down the street to catch it. she apparently slipped or fell in her haste, and soiled her dress in the georgia mud. knowing how vicious kindergarteners can be, she quickly decided not show show up in dirty clothes which could bring an afternoon of taunts. so, she turned and ran back towards her house to change. as she ran around the bus, however, she was unseen by the driver of an oncoming car, who was then unable to prevent his car from hitting her.
   so, she was killed before reaching her 6th birthday, which also happened to be my 6th birthday.
   so, maybe i shouldn’t spend that birthday today by grousing over the mechanic who claims my car can’t be repaired, or my rent which is higher than the amount in my credit union account and was due yesterday, or the neighbor who is apparently spending the summer learning creed songs on his new electric guitar, or what a mistake it was paying for ‘mission:impossible-2’, or a freaking 56k connection, or a serious lack of serious work to do.

~ driving down post road to atlanta highway in cumming, georgia, i used to see this painted on the side of someone’s trailer: ‘i know who stole my saw.’ after this week, i know ‘who’, too.

~ the angry red office has had to move from the marina to cheviot hills. as of yet, there is no internet access in the new space, so i spend the days complaining to phobos that there seems to be no decent way to get the best access for the lowest price. if someone knows of a decent way to get a t1, or even dsl or cable for absolutely free, please let us know…