~ reporter: “how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and federal and state governments?”

“Tribal sovereignty means that. It’s sovereign. You’re a … you’re a … you’ve been given sovereignty and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity…….and therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between s…sovereign entities.” -GWBush

hear it for yourself: mp3 or ogg.

~ from the most-humiliating-thing-since-NATO-flew-AWACS -over-USA-after-9/11 department:

“For the first time, a group of experts from the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) will travel to the US to observe the presidential election.”

~ from the we-said-so department [+]: back when the public was informed that torture is the policy of the USA, luminaries such president bush and Joe Lieberman were telling us that it is not in the nature of Americans to torture prisoners. even though Americans were torturing presidents; they probably had in mind that our nature is better exhibited by cretins who beat people to death for an x-box. [w]

~ only two days after our suggestion [+] that the decompression of language be applied to trite headlines, george w bush takes the idea to its logical conclusion for the ‘war on terror’:

“The struggle against ideological extremists who do not believe in free societies and who happen to use terror as a weapon to try to shake the conscience of the free world”

this would almost be a perfect success of the lessons of the angry red planet; however, we believe that gwbush spoke the term ‘conscious’, instead of ‘conscience’.

“Intelligence indicates suspected al Qaeda operatives in Pakistan “contacted” at least one person in the U.S. in recent months, sources tell CNN. Details soon.”

what stunning details could soon follow? a map of the united states was found in south east asia? a man in indonesia was heard to be practicing english? a lebanese woman has opened a custodian checking account for her preteen daughter at a new jersey bank? the sky is falling!!

~ in other stupid news, we have a headline: “U.S. Struggles to Grasp Scope of Threat”. a more accurate headline would be: “if al queda even exists, they are grinning ear to ear as they watch americans bring more damage upon the United States with expensive and time consuming responses to rumors of threats of threats of attacks than the actual attacks would bring.” maybe nothing is going to catch on fire now, but the effort put into preventing the fire would have greater benefit to all if it had been put instead into preventing ignorance and want, perhaps at the expense of the aforementioned fire. yes, it would be safer to make cars out of jello and titanium and have them driven by robots, but it is cheaper to use plastic and aluminum and have them driven by puny humans and just hope that the pile ups and jackknifings are kept at a manageable level.

~ john kerry needs to knock off that salute schtick right now. for one thing, it is against military protocol for any civilian – even the president – to salute active duty officers and enlisted men; this is not the primary reason he should cut it out of his campaign speeches, however. kerry seems to have gotten a big kick over how well that tacky ‘reporting for duty’ gimmick went over at the beginning of his nomination acceptance speech. since that time, we’ve seen numerous images of him repeating the move whenever he makes an appearance on his bus/train tour. the kerry talking points are that bush didn’t go to vietnam, and kerry volunteered to fight in vietnam; okay, that lesson has been learned by anyone who plans to vote this november. nevertheless, many of kerry’s ‘supporters’ are still sore over how the democratic party administration swindled the anti-war dean out of the nomination; also note the only other candidate who received delegate votes is the only other anti-war candidate, the honorable dennis kucinich. the new lesson is that the continued conjuring of militaristic imagery and sloganeering by the democratic candidate whose vague hints about his strategy for iraq suggest that his plan is indistinguishable from bush’s plan is a turn off for the idealistic supporters of the progressive former candidates whose tenuous loyalty to kerry is one of convenience, not affinity.

even the pedants at the angry red planet, recently troubled by the bedfellows whom ralph nader has chosen in his efforts to have his name on the ballots in certain states, from whom he has chosen to accept money, and who he has chosen to publish his latest book, hesitantly considered a concession that kerry is the last best hope for the united states. however, a bitter attack upon the angry red planet by fellow liberals and/or progressives over our announcement that we believe that dekalb county/metro atlanta would better be served by cathy woolard than by cynthia mckinney brought us to reevaluate the value of doctrine and our place within its confines; the result of this examination has been a new lease on the life of our nader votes. as far as john kerry goes, though, he still looks like a jackass to everyone who isn’t gung ho about the fiasco in iraq or in vietnam every time he salutes other civilians.

~ after five good years of eudora [w], we have made the switch to thunderbird [w]. we’ve only had it open for a day, and though it seems slow in sending mail – this perception is probably due to the progress window that pops up instead of running the background – thunderbird’s handling of multiple email accounts and identities is far superior to eudora’s abilities, which is why we made the switch in the first place. even so, we would like to see all the email accounts place the incoming mail in the same inbox whilst still using imap.

Teresa Heinz Kerry pointed at a picture of chili on the menu and asked the cashier what it was before ordering a bowl.

~ considering that voters in the united states do not elect directly the executive, polls that list the percentage of the popular vote are misleading. tripias [w] has a feature that breaks down the polls by states and adds up the electoral votes. provided that the info is accurate, it gives a better idea about the possibilities of the election than the percentage polls do.

~ thanks are in order for the hospitality of gypsy farm [w] of mauk, georgia, for hosting our visit and demonstrating their construction and culinary skills.

~ most of our readers realize that the war/peace in iraq is fucked and that democrats are timid invertebrates; it is not yet time to barrage the rest of our readers with a litany of justifications for nader-voting, so we posit this quote as a test on how to respond to a lunatic:

“I would argue that the future of our country hangs in the balance because the future of marriage hangs in the balance,” said Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa. “…Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?”

though the ravings of the unhinged santorum appear to be a harbinger of the apocalypse, his point is supported by much evidence; massachusetts has disappeared from the face of the earth, san francisco has burst into white hot flames, and new paltz has hosted over 12 dozen suicide pacts – all of this since the beginning of same-sex marriages in these locales. in addition to these manifestions of doom, upwards of 10,000 hetero marriages have been destroyed, with the separating partners confessing that they felt compelled to ‘go gay’ by the marriages of other people; 8,000 of these were in texas, alone.

~ while the ‘context images’ used to be a collection of all the images that appeared in this log at some point, we have extended the library by filling it with dozens of new images that do not appear in the log. click ‘more context images’ on the right to see if you can find them.

~ we have another declaration that al qaeda is planning to attack the united states; again there are no details, proof, or evidence – easily the most useless and stupid statement we have heard all day. as that the reason for al qaeda’s existence, why do they need to remind us? are they going to point out that the fbi has picked up some chatter that the new york yankees are planning to win the world series and make a lot of money, some time in late summer or early fall? what is strange is that this ‘information’ was fed to the media right after the kerry and edwards ticket moved into the headlines. i guess we will have to look out for whatever until bush is reelected or until the end of july, when bin laden is to be captured/killed, according to the new republic [w].

~ with the price of 'soothing and cooling' aloe gel at an exorbitant $5.99, even for the store brand, it would cheaper to purchase sunblock in advance and avoid the sunburn all together. at these prices, it looks like we will be stuck with treatment of the medicinal properties of water and air.

~ john edwards has a toothy smile, we are agreed, but can we lay off the condescending predictions that all southerners are going to swoon and rise for this guy just because he has an accent, as though we can not study speeches and debates before making a decision? who are the southerners who voted for clinton? were they all transplants from up north? where will these characterizations lead? that every woman will vote for hillary clinton and elizabeth dole, even if they were opponents? or that every black person would vote for al sharpton and vernon robinson, the latter billing himself as the ‘black jesse helms’? maybe this is all true, and southerners will vote for someone who is ‘one of us’, after all many of them were duped by a 'texan' from connecticut, if so, this country, tragically, is more of a cartoon than we had feared.

~ concerning iraq’s new national security laws, from the washington post:

The country’s human rights minister, Baktiar Amin, compared the new Iraqi law to the U.S.A. Patriot Act, the U.S. law enacted after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks that gives broader powers to law enforcement authorities in pursuit of suspected terrorists.

christ, is that really something about which to brag? or is mr. amin rubbing the patriot act in our face? could law be any more martial than it is when enforced by 130,000 foreign troops? if so, well done!

~ note: this rant was actually composed on independence day, but our office’s internet connection was severed, due to our inability to pay the bills, before we could post it. we are going to use our phones for further posts, at least until our phone is also disconnected:

elanor clift in newsweek:

“Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi is a former Baath Party member who turned against Saddam Hussein and has longstanding ties to the CIA. He is a potential dictator – a Saddam Lite, if you will. ‘But he’s ours,’ says Kemp. The Iraqi people want security restored far more than they care about western fruits of democracy like civil liberties.”

the chilling hints of ‘our man in baghdad’ notwithstanding, let us take this fourth of july – which is not actually the birth of our country, as the declaration of independence is unrelated to the 1787 conception of the united states or its birth two years later, but as there is a time to pick nits and a time to watch explosions in the sky to the soundtrack of don mclean, we will let this rest for now – to reflect on how freedom is defined in the united states. since the erosion of our civil liberties commenced immediately after september 11, 2001, with twisted assaults on our rights such as the patriot act and its sequel, a day has not gone by that one does not hear a butchered misquote of benjamin franklin’s statement concerning liberty and security. if the information in the above excerpt is to be believed, that would make iraqis the complete opposite of americans, in that they are more afraid of someone shooting up their car than they are of being shoved around by cops when they speak their minds. on the other hand, fearless amercians like ben franklin are long dead, and when the people who have taken their place watch a cop hitting someone in the head with a flashlight, it is only on television, and it is just for a few seconds, and maybe they will hear about it when there is a hearing or panel or some shit about police brutality five years later, while iraqis seem to have no problems with burning down police stations when cops act like assholes. has this whole mess been worth anything, when in the end, the americans who are in charge of iraq are going to resort to the same kind of jackass who was running the show before the invasion? have we learned that iraqis are just like americans, because we would both exchange our rights for uninterrupted cable service and protection from ethnic strife? or have we learned that we are totally different, because iraqis want to be sheltered and have their hands held, while americans are ready to fend for themselves, crawling – unshowered – through the mountains with daggers in their teeth, while the terrorists and killers continue to bring it on? is michael moore less of an american because he wastes his time asking whether or not we could have an executive administration that is more concerned with regular folks, if not like him, then at least like us, when moore easily could buy a pad in paris and bitch from afar, like that guy from ‘edward scissorhands’? are there any cooler fireworks than those that burst white for a second, then disappear, then come back as red or green or blue? does every american have the right to bike to the local fireworks display and to weave between the frozen sea of cars and vans, free from being screamed at by the drivers who can not navigate the streets and have to listen to the show they are missing while their kids cry in the back seat?

in any event, ‘civil liberties’ do not spring forth as ‘fruits’ from democracy, as the excerpt implies; they are writ in the same document that also defines that the republic will governed by a democracy. democracy is a civil liberty, not the progenitor of them

~ also, despite our use of the term ‘american’ for inhabitants of the united states, we are aware that there is no ‘america’, there is no ‘american flag’, and no ‘’americans’. we use the term to communicate with our base readers, but we do not accept it.

~ putting the ‘red’ back into the angry red planet, can be interpreted literally, if one considers the milky pink of a 2nd degree sunburn to be a shade of ‘red’.

~ when listing the superhuman features, such as elongated femurs and an enormous heart, with which lance armstrong has been blessed, perhaps one could also consider that he has a melanin content of 1000%, or however it is measured and however high it can be for a white guy from texas. or maybe he wears sunblock all the way from atlanta to stone mountain and back — whilst laughing and not vomiting.