~ chain store quotes:
“you must be a vegetarian”
“you can tell that from my selections?”
“yes…now i’m not going to charge you for any of this”
“roger that”

payphone quotes:
“who would beat you up [on the bus]?”
“let’s see, the skins would beat me up for listening to pink floyd, and the jocks would beat me up for listening to [SUB][HUM][ANS]”
“is that all?”
“and my friends beat me up for being in the band”

~ it is difficult to take a picture that is a fair representation of the shenandoah valley, but you may still find a couple of updates to the u.s.a. scene report.

~ georgia pacific center quote:
‘i wish my wife would let me have a fire in the fireplace’

~ we hate you:

“that is so new york”
“you go, ….!”
—–

~ in the yard of an 8th avenue tenement, the name of the jedi master yoda is spelled with flowers. taped to the corner of the derelict building at 118th and manhattan avenue, a 24″x36″ sheet of poster board – endorsed in sharpie by all of his ‘homies’ – implores yoda to ‘r.i.p.’. be sure to pour some beverage on the pavement for the little green master.

~

“you know how it feels when you don’t want to take the mercedes to the party – you just take the other car? that’s how i feel today.”

 
no. but we do know what it feels like to pick up a bag covered with sesame seeds that turn out to be maggots. and we know what it feels like save 20 cents by eating a box of krasdale [w] frozen okra that contains nothing but the stems. and we know what it feels like to wear an $4 tie from k-mart while cutting open a trash bag on the street to extract a book that might fetch 95 cents on half.com. is this anything like choosing the car that isn’t the mercedes?

~ today, inexplicably, for the first time, we discerned that the lyrics are “..bugs in the software flash the message ‘something’s out there’…”.

~ javits center quotes:
 
“you look really cute in those glasses”
“oh, well thank you. have a good day”
 
“i hope you’re not an american. you should be ashamed.”
“ok. have a good day.”

~ mailbag: “you at the angry red planet need to look at it from the perspective of the police. they probably get caught up in the chase and probably can’t help but resort to a primal state when they catch someone.”

that’s the best we can expect from the police? those who are considered our ‘finest’ are unable to resist regressing to some ‘primal’ state? the very last people who should be in armed gangs are the ones who don’t have any control over their emotions; these people are supposed to be the ones who guard the tenets of our organized society. we don’t declare that there should not be police, just that there should perhaps be some sort of standards for who is chosen and maybe some training for the job. we don’t think that it is too much to demand that they be someone other than cretins who only take the job to gain power over the other thugs in their hood or because they are too old for the high school football team. besides, for someone who is in a ‘primal’ state, they somehow seem to maintain the presence of mind to put someone in handcuffs and get five of their cronies to back them up before they start punching them again.

~ the neighbors fail to disappoint on 110th street: “no white boy need to hold the door for me.”

~ heard on 113th street: “get out of harlem, white boy. you’re not welcome here. fucking…”

~ “these fucking demolition guys are all run by the mob. they can make you wait three fucking hours or refuse to take your fucking dumpsters; they can make your life fucking miserable. even though gotti is dead, they still do what the fuck they want. and this poor shlep has red hair; he’s irish, so they will make him haul all this shit by himself. have a good day, guy”

~ you can walk away from the security guards at the mta bus depot in east manhattan, as they will not get up from their scooters when trying to interrupt your drifting. the security guards at the citicorp tower will walk away from you if you shout the phrase “go ahead and touch me motherfucker; i dare you.”

~ overheard at red cross donation center: “we only give platelets because we can see cool movies like ‘first knight'” -kron, 2002