~

booty.

~ the dumbest things we have heard since previous post:

“There are circumstances when the country’s interests take priority over its laws.” –tucker carlson

so the constitution has a caveat, ‘some times nothing in here applies to certain people?’ the guys who stole my router, measuring spoons and first 2 issues of ‘friendly neighborhood spider-man’ must have read that, because apparently ‘There are circumstances when a burglar’s interests take priority over its laws’.

“Keep the christ in christmas” -billboard on ga 20

christ. mas. ’nuff said.

pending: “you can’t make cupcakes without eggs”

~

From: “the angry red planet”
To: “plamil foods”
Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2005 11:43 AM
Subject: dark chocolate label

Hello,
One of my colleagues recently delivered to me a package that contained an assortment of your Organic Chocolate bars, so that I may sample vegan confections of the UK which are unavailable in my country. For the most part, the wrappers are and accurate representation of the contents, but I find that the colour of the Organic Dark Chocolate is misleading. I notice that the wrapper is a dark brown, which I find does not optimally describe the ‘darkness’ of the chocolate. Whilst cocoa is indeed brown, the idea of ‘dark chocolate’ is best understood through the use of black. To reflect the cocoa content of your dark chocolate, the wrapper should be recoloured as 87% of black, rather than dark brown. My comparisons with greyscale palettes, of course, have been failures, as the wrapper is currently brown, but I advise you to conduct experiments with your printers to reach the appropriate shade. Apart from the colour issue, the layout rest of the wrapper is exquisite. Thank you.

2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: everything i find remarks on how king arthur’s is higher protein
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: than other all-p
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: it made your cake more dense/firm
2:08 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: rather than fluffy
2:08 PM terracimmeria: maybe you should send that info to metropolitan
2:08 PM terracimmeria: so they can make proper bagels
2:08 PM terracimmeria: shit
2:08 PM terracimmeria: king arthur is responsible for that cake status
2:09 PM terracimmeria: i should start a new website
2:09 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: i mean, the flavor is fine, the texture is off, though, because of that
2:09 PM terracimmeria: ‘king arthur’s protein content caused my cake to be too fucking dense!’
2:09 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: .com
2:09 PM terracimmeria: fuckarthur.com
2:09 PM terracimmeria: shit
2:10 PM terracimmeria: i can’t believe we returned to fucking mugs
2:10 PM xxxxxxxxxxx: calm down
2:11 PM terracimmeria: and why isn’t eric rudolph referred to as a ‘christian terrorist’ like the islamic bombers?

q: do they have pretzels in phila?

a: they are more prominent than they are here; they are not handed out on every street corner, but they are placed around case registers/covered in choco, etc. there is a particular brand which i enjoy; they are called ‘uncle something’ and they are made by hand, locally. i find it queer that in this age of standardized global transportation, there are still items which are found ‘up there’ but not ‘down here’. for example, they have these things called ‘tastykakes’…

q: mmmm! i love tastykakes!!

a: …

~ ted rall [w] knows how to lay it out:

“Every time someone was raped at Abu Ghraib, Bagram Air Base or Gitmo, Tom Friedman and Christopher Hitchens and Bill O’Reilly and David Brooks were de facto accomplices.” [w]

~ we are thinking about getting some cola – either china or blue sky. do they still make dr. rush?

~ happy world vegan day! whilst you recover from your engorgement of last night’s bacchanalia of chocolate and candies, spend a few minutes at a place like vegweb or vrg to find enough recipes that will make even the most skeptical and hardheaded carni-/omnivore realize that you don’t have to do anything crazy like press your own seitan to enjoy a sumptuous and ‘cruelty free’ meal, even if only for a day.

the angry red planet will be celebrating with a platter of blackeyed peas, collard greens, and cornbread, a trinity worthy of celebration in its own right. this will be followed by the empty calories of a chocolate cake. contact us if you need the recipe.

~ while our thoughts are on from the ground, please find on their projects page [w]
a new portfolio of postcards from paris, so that you may see who was spending their time in france working while the rest of us were fattening ourselves on bjorg and maoz.

~ yoda means even more to west harlem than we originally suspected. he has a candle shrine behind the bus stop in front of c-town, a candle-and-poster shrine in front of papa john’s, and a candle-champagne-alize shrine in front of the 112th street liquor store.

~ to those who proclaim the adage that humans are the only animals who will eat rotten food, rest assured that we will maintain this prestige, for our agents stand ready to devour a dinner of two snowball-resembling oranges with vigor. “puny humans!” -the hulk

~ at the westside supermarket on broadway, the radio is playing over the loudspeaker for the sake of the customers’ entertainment. between commercials. the ‘dj’ – are they still called ‘dj’? – announces the news. “twelve people have been killed in an explosion in a mall” – the entire store stops what they are doing and looks up at the ceiling, from which the message is emanating – “in Jerusalem.” at the naming of the city, one far from westside manhattan or los angeles, the customers quickly drop their heads in indifference and refocus on the more crucial task of grabbing ‘portuguese’ rolls and hummus and tofutti.

~ didn’t the media just discover that it’s ramadan and tell us that it is suddenly the most important time of the year for muslims? apparently, it was so important – for a few days – that if the u.s. attacked this month, all the ‘support’ from muslim nations would erode. the bombers must have been some of those christian palestinians about whom we see some folks reminding israel, as though the zionists would actually have any more sympathy or humanity for them.